


you've been there from the start

by CongressIsAliens



Series: Perryshmirtz Week 2020 [2]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Agent!Heinz, Human Perry the Platypus, M/M, Meet-Cute, OWCA agent AU, Perryshmirtz Week 2020, Separations, probably more of a Reunite-Cute really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27066646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CongressIsAliens/pseuds/CongressIsAliens
Summary: Agent P and Agent O are Danville’s power duo, always ready to save the day together.At least, until they’re reassigned to opposite sides of the country, with no way to know if they’ll ever see each other again.
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Series: Perryshmirtz Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974490
Comments: 8
Kudos: 89
Collections: Perryshmirtz Week 2020





	you've been there from the start

**Author's Note:**

> Perryshmirtz Week Day 2: Separation/Reassigned
> 
> Title is from [Chop Away at my Heart](https://youtu.be/3OZL0xLEC6of). Because why not.

It’s a beautiful day in downtown Danville. The air is crisp and clear, there’s flowers in every window box, and there’s an evil scientist trying to take over the city.

Of course, the citizens of Danville don’t have anything to worry about. Agents P and O are on the case, already thwarting the scientist. Agent P is pretending to be trapped, providing a distraction while Agent O disables the evil device.

They make a great team, Agent Heinz the Ocelot and Agent Perry the Platypus. They’re the Tri-State Area’s power duo, always ready to fight evil. Prodigy junior agents, graduated tied for top of their class. Already on their way to being the best operatives in the US.

“Get ready to jump,” Agent O calls out from behind the evil device. Agent P churrs in recognition, instantly freeing himself from the trap and getting up to deck the evil scientist.

It isn’t long before Agent O is yelling “Jump!” and they’re propelling themselves off the balcony, activting their jetpacks and soaring to a nearby balcony. Agent O holds up a remote, and Agent P grins.

Agent O presses the button on the remote, and the whole evil invention (neither of them paid close enough attention to know what it was) goes up in an explosion.

As the smoke clears, both agents shed their stoic agent personalities, grinning and sharing a high-five as they celebrate another victory in a long string of success. 

Heinz takes off his fedora to run a hand through his hair, a broad and exuberant smile on his face.

In this moment, Perry realizes that he’s truly, completely _screwed._

He’s been harboring feelings for the other agent ever since their time in training, but he’s always been able to keep them under wraps.

Now that they’re going on almost every mission together, though, it’s a little harder to hide. And when Heinz grins like this after a successful mission, slightly flushed and fully happy, it makes it even harder for him to keep from just grabbing Heinz by the tie and kissing him. 

It’s only a matter of time before they’re assigned to a mission where they have to pretend to be in a relationship. Together. Perry both anticipates and dreads that day.

Part of him loves all of this, getting to spend so much time with the guy he likes. Thwarting evil with your crush, how much better can it get?

The other part of him hates it, for that precise reason. Perry knows he can keep his feelings secret for a good long time, but even the best kept secret gets out. 

He’s pretty sure that Heinz is bi, but there’s still a chance he _isn’t_ , and things would get extremely awkward if he isn’t. Or if he just doesn’t like Perry like that. That’s still a possibility. Despite his sexuality, there’s still the chance of rejection.

So Perry doesn’t say anything, instead choosing to gesture in the general vicinity of headquarters.

“Yeah, we should probably get back.” Heinz fiddles with the back of his jetpack. “I think I fried something in that explosion, do you think Development will notice?”

 _Best to tell them. Honesty is the best policy._ Perry smiles reassuringly, but inside he’s yelling at himself. Honesty is the best policy, but he can’t even follow his own advice.

Then again, he’s a _secret_ agent. He’s supposed to keep secrets. That’s something hammered in during training. Information is always on a need-to-know basis. 

Of course, they likely probably meant things like actual classified intel and not the secret of your slow-burning attraction to one of your fellow agents. But it’s a secret just the same, so Perry will keep it.

With those lovely thoughts in mind, they both launch themselves off the roof of the building and fly over to headquarters. Heinz does flips and spins in mid-air, showing off, and Perry falls in love just that much more. He’s smiling, excited, soaring...what’s not to like?

“How soon until we become senior agents, again?” Heinz asks, laughing as they land on the roof twenty minutes later.

Perry shrugs, activating the safety on his jetpack. (Burning a hole through the seat of your pants on accident isn’t fun, as Agent B can pay testament to.) _Probably not long, especially if we keep crushing missions like this._

“Not long, huh?” Heinz asks. “Wonder if we’ll get it before we’re twenty-five.”

Perry shakes his head. _You might,_ he signs, _but I won’t._

“That’s right, it’s only a week until your birthday. Happy early birthday, by the way.”

Perry laughs. _Thanks._ Heinz beams so brightly at him that his already-flimsy resolve crumbles. _Hey, before we go in, can I ask you something?_

“Yeah, sure, ask away,” Heinz says, leaning up against the door to the stairs.

Perry gulps and tries to figure out how to say what he wants to. Obviously, he could just admit his feelings with the sign for ‘I love you’, but that’s a bit strong to open with...

He can do this. Totally. He can absolutely, one hundred percent do this.

“Perry? Is everything okay?”

He can’t do this. _Oh, sorry, I forgot what I was going to say._

“Don’t you just hate it when that happens? Eh, I’m sure it’ll come back to you later.”

Perry nods. Right. It’ll come back.

Heinz’s watch goes off. “Jeez, we just got back,” he says. “Can you _believe_ it? Just came back from a _successful_ mission and I’m already being summoned to the captain’s office.”

_Did you blow something up in your room again?_

Heinz gives Perry a good-natured shove. “You’re never going to let me live that down, huh?”

_Never._

Heinz sighs and looks at his still-beeping watch. “See you later?”

Perry smiles. It’s a bit wistful, but nobody needs to know that. _See you later._

* * *

The next morning, Perry enters captain Comma’s office alone.

“Ah, Agent P, just who I wanted to see.”

Perry quells an eye-roll. The Captain was the one that summoned him.

“I’ll just cut to the chase,” the Captain says with a sigh. “While we hate to break up you and Agent O’s power duo, you’re being reassigned to US headquarters in Washington DC.”

It takes almost all of Perry’s self control to not let his shock show. Reassigned, all the way to the East Coast?

 _What brought this on?_ He asks.

“Maru!” The captain calls. “Get in here, Agent P is doing the hand thing again.”

Danville’s intern pops her head in. “Agent O isn’t in?”

“No, he’s already in Seattle, remember?”

 _Hei-Agent O is in Seattle?_ Perry asks, almost using Heinz’s name sign instead of the neutral signs for ‘spy’ and ‘O’.

“You didn’t tell him?” Maru asks.

“Tell him what?” the captain asks.

“That Agent O was transferred to Seattle early this morning.” Maru catches a look at Perry’s shocked expression. “Oh. You didn’t tell him.”

“Sorry to keep you out of the loop, Agent P, but Agent O was transferred to take over as the nemesis of the up-and-coming Professor Mystery. He’s going to be there permanently, or at least as permanent as OWCA positions ever are.”

_And I’m going to be in Washington DC until further notice._

Maru translates this to the captain, who nods. “Unless orders change, you will be assisting Agent Lizard, thwarting evil scientists looking to harm the president."

Well, at least it's a good position. Plenty of action, and an incredibly important protectorate.

"When she retires and you’re promoted to senior agent," the Captain says, "you’ll be taking over that position, also pseudo-permanently.”

The captain shuffles through some papers on his desk, then hands Perry a manila folder. “Here’s all the documents you’ll need. Your flight leaves in four hours, so pack up everything from your room. Leave what you don’t need immediately with the mailroom, it'll arrive in DC is two to five days, you know the drill. Dismissed!”

Perry salutes and leaves the room, with Maru following right behind.

“I’m sorry, Agent P,” Maru says once the door shuts behind them. “I know how much you and Agent O cared about each other.”

Perry shrugs. _It had to happen at some point, there really isn’t much evil in the Tri-State Area. I just wish I had gotten a chance to say goodbye._

Maru winces. “Oh, yeah. You didn’t even get that, huh?” Perry nods. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I put together that paperwork, and you’re getting a host family in DC.”

Perry smiles. At least there’s one good thing about this whole situation. He’s finally getting a host family. No more living in OWCA’s crappy dorms.

 _Stay safe, Maru,_ Perry signs.

“Dunno if I can do that, they’re sending me to the Academy soon,” she says.

_You’re going to be the next captain?_

She nods. “If you ever stop by Danville, come say hi, will you?”

Perry smiles. _I will._

He passes by Heinz’s room on the way to his own. The door is open like always, but the room is empty. Not like it was supposed to be very decorated in the first place- it’s basically just a bed and desk. You either spend your time in the field or in the common room, having a decorated room isn’t really a priority.

But something still feels like it’s missing. Heinz is in Seattle by now, he’s not in Danville. He’s not going to pop in and pester Perry when he’s trying to do his paperwork anymore. He’s not going to set off the fire alarm when his inventions explode, he’s not going to suggest inane games to play with the other junior agents at midnight that get them chewed out by the Captain.

They’re not going to go on missions together anymore. There aren't going to be any more soft smiles directed at him. No more late night conversations on the roof, where time is almost frozen and anything goes. 

Perry opens the door to his own room. It’s not very interesting either, the only real piece of decor is the world’s ugliest paperweight sitting on his desk. Lawrence gave it to him as a joke when he went to college.

He sighs and starts to pack up his room.

It turns out that by the time he’s done packing up his room and cubicle that there’s only one box to drop off with the mailroom.

There’s only one thing left to do before he leaves, since the rest of his old training group friends have all scattered across the globe by now and he doesn't really know the rest of the junior agents very well. 

He pulls a sharpie out of his bag and signs the underside of the desk in his room, adding his signature and the year to the several already there before he leaves.

His last mark on Danville.

It’s only once he’s already sitting on a plane headed for Washington, DC, that he remembers his last conversation with Heinz.

The one where he _didn’t_ tell him about his feelings.

A flight attendant walks down the aisle, shutting the overhead compartments. Perry tunes out the noise around him with a practiced ease, ready to sleep away the journey.

They say you always miss the shots you don’t take. Perry had always thought that was a load of bull. Isn’t it impossible to miss an untaken shot, since you didn’t even take it? If you haven’t shot a bullet, has it missed the target? Of course not.

Now he realizes. They (whoever “they” are) weren’t talking about failing. Instead, the phrase implies _regret_. 

And yeah, Perry _definitely_ regrets not shooting his shot. If they were going to get reassigned anyway, they could have at least had a few hours together. And if Heinz hadn’t liked him back, well, they were going to get reassigned anyway.

But Perry hadn’t said anything. (Or, for that matter, _signed_ anything.)

And he’s certainly missing that wasted opportunity. You miss all the shots you don’t take, indeed.

The plane starts to roll away from the gate. Behind him, a baby starts to cry.

So it begins. This flight, the new phase of his life, it’s all the same. It’s already starting to feel like forever.

Forever without seeing his closest friend. Maybe someday they’ll see each other again, but who knows how far in the future that’s going to be? Is he even going to still have _feelings_ for Heinz in a year? Two years? Ten?

Probably not, but he really has no idea.

Feelings are hard. It would be best for him to forget all about Heinz. He closes his eyes as the plane takes off.

* * *

Twenty years, two months, and sixteen days later, Agent Perry the Platypus still hasn’t completely forgotten about Heinz.

Not for lack of trying. He’s worked with a great many agents over the years, and dated his fair share of guys. (Sometimes, those two categories even overlapped.)

But he still hasn’t forgotten. Whenever someone mentions the old Tri-State area, or Danville especially, his mind jumps back to his fellow agent.

He’s probably retired from fieldwork, like Perry is about to. Maybe he even transferred to research and development.

It would suit him. He was always tinkering with something- he even built his own prosthetic right arm after his first real mission went horribly wrong. Perry had helped him when it acted up a fair few times.

Perry sighs as he finishes packing up his cubicle. He’s finally been approved for the transfer to the Tri-State Area, maybe now he can have a little more peace. Take things a bit easier, maybe take less risks.

Frankly, he’s not as young as he used to be. He can’t keep up with all these young upstart evil scientists, fresh out of evil college, threatening the leader of the free world. He needs to go somewhere where every other mission won’t end in back pain.

Goddammit, he’s only forty five years old (although that’s remarkably old for an active field agent, especially one with the duties Perry has), and he's still turning into a grandpa. He doesn’t have any kids, just a niece and two nephews, but he _feels_ like a grandpa.

Maybe he’ll get one of those “you can’t make me, I’m retired” shirts to wear around OWCA headquarters once he's been officially transferred to desk work. 

He probably won’t, but it _would_ be pretty funny, so he can at least consider it.

Technically, this move to Danville won’t put him into retirement, or even place him permanently on desk work. If anything, OWCA will make him work with the trainees. But it'll be a hell of a lot easier than running after evil scientists half his age. 

Point is, he’s not really retiring. He’s just leaving the more physically intense missions to the younger agents.

He’s been hard at work training his replacement, Agent Penny the Pelican. She’ll be a good agent to fill his position when he goes back to Danville.

Well, at least whatever work he _does_ end up doing in Danville, training trainees or doing desk work, whatever it is will be much easier on him than taking another goddamn bullet.

Seriously, he’s already got two somewhere below his ribcage. He’s sick of it. It hurts like a motherfucker.

That's not even the only reason he's glad to be go back to Danville. He’s got family there now- his brother, his sister-in-law, his niece and nephews. Lawrence had even heard of Perry moving back, and offered to have him live in their spare room.

(Perry had politely declined. He’s forty five, he can live on his own. Lawrence had still insisted that he come over for Sunday dinner, after he moved into his own place.)

He wonders how much the Tri-State headquarters have changed. Are there still parts of the old IBM machine from the sixties -spinning rotors and all- in the basement? Or did they finally come to their senses and get rid of it?

It won’t be long until he’s back in Danville. Then, he can go check. Even though going down into OWCA's storage on his own isn’t as fun as going down with a group of fellow trainees and a bottle of some disgusting alcohol in the middle of the night, it’s probably a lot safer.

For just a moment, he wonders what it would be like if Heinz _also_ came back to Danville. Wouldn’t that be amazing?

* * *

“And this is going to be your new cubicle, Agent P,” Carl the intern says. “Now that we’re done with the tour, Major Monogram wants to speak with you.”

Major Monogram? Huh, they must have shuffled Maru somewhere else. And Captain Comma was getting old when Perry left, so he’s obviously long since been replaced.

Ten minutes later, after a brief meeting with the Major (who is a complete idiot), Perry winds up walking through the halls on his first mission- paperwork.

He forgot how much paperwork any transfer requires. Even one that isn’t really a big deal. (The Tri-State Area, in the grand scheme of things, isn’t exactly the biggest hotspot for evil.)

Perry can hear a familiar voice as he walks down the hall, flipping through the folder instead of looking where he’s going. The voice is somewhat grating, a strong Drusselsteinian accent...could it be?

He rounds the corner and runs almost face-first into a man in a black sweater, dropping the entire folder and scattering its contents everywhere.

“Whoops, sorry about that,” the man says, kneeling down to help Perry pick up the paperwork. “Waaait a minute, do I recognize you from somewhere?” he asks, looking up, and Perry suddenly recognizes him.

It really _is_ him. Agent O. _Heinz?_ Perry asks, hoping that Heinz recognizes his old sign name.

“Agent P? Perry? Is it really you?”

Perry nods, grinning. _Yep, really me,_ he says, signing slower than usual since Heinz is probably really rusty.

“Somebody mentioned an Agent P transferring over, I was hoping it was you.” He smiles in the same way he always used to, and Perry's breath catches in his throat. Fuck. “I haven’t seen you in so long, almost forgot all about you.” 

_Same here. But I’m finally back in Danville, hopefully to stay._ Perry gestures towards the teenage girl hovering behind Heinz. _Who’s this?_

“Oh yeah,” Heinz says, “you guys haven’t met. Vanessa, this is my old friend Perry,” he says to the girl. Perry picks up the last of the paperwork and stands, waving. “We were really close when we were younger. Perry, this is my daughter Vanessa. She’s interning in research and development this summer.”

Well, he isn’t surprised. Heinz had always talked about wanting a family, so Perry’s happy for him. (He totally isn’t taking note of the fact that Heinz isn’t wearing a wedding ring.) And if his daughter inherited his technological prowess, then she'll come up with all sorts of amazing things. 

“Is he the one you thought was cute?” Vanessa asks with a smirk, and Heinz’s face goes bright red.

“I- Vanessa, sweetie, that’s not exactly something to say out loud…” Heinz stammers.

 _It’s okay, my nephews say all sorts of crazy things too,_ Perry signs, completely ignoring the way his face is flushed at Vanessa's words. 

“Hang on, you have nephews?” Heinz asks.

_And a niece too._

“Jeez, things sure have changed,” Heinz says.

_Well, it’s been twenty years, give or take._

“It’s been that long?” 

Perry shrugs. _Time flies._ He looks over at Vanessa, who’s leaning against the wall, obviously already bored. _You want to get coffee tomorrow and catch up? I saw the place on 22nd is still open,_ he signs.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Heinz says, smiling down at his shoes. “After work?”

Perry nods.

“Well, I still have to show Vanessa around, so I’ll see you later?”

 _I’ll see you later,_ Perry signs, and Heinz and Vanessa walk away.

 _He’s single_ , Vanessa mouths over her shoulder right before they round a corner, and the old butterflies in Perry’s stomach jump right back to life.

Perry was sure that his crush on Heinz went away. It _had_ been twenty years, after all. Crushes have a lifespan of six months, at the most.

But here he is, feeling fluttery over just a short conversation and a coffee not-date, which means his crush has definitely _not_ gone away. At _all_. 

Well, he’s screwed.

* * *

The next day, they meet in the same coffeeshop they used to go to when they wanted to get away from headquarters as junior agents.

It shouldn't surprise Perry that he remembers how Heinz takes his coffee, but it does. 

As they talk, Perry learns that Heinz had been married in Seattle but got divorced after a few years, that he lost his left arm on a mission a few years ago, and that he’d do anything for his daughter.

Perry _also_ learns that Heinz is bisexual (and, as Vanessa said, single), which does absolutely nothing for the way his breath still catches when Heinz smiles softly.

Even after all these years, the only person that can really make him feel this way is Heinz.

Which is why he’s so surprised when Heinz admits, after nearly three hours of conversation that flew by in a heartbeat, that he had a crush on Perry...and that it seemingly never really went away.

Despite the fact that neither of them have had a long-term relationship that ended well, and that they’re _completely_ different people now, they agree to _try_ dating.

It might be a bad idea, but Perry's not going to throw away this opportunity. Not again.

(Heinz kisses him before they part ways, which is nice.)

* * *

Three weeks after their coffee definitely-date, they’re on another mission together.

It’s similar to the many they did together when they were junior agents. But that doesn’t bother either of them. When so many other things have changed, it’s nice to have something that stays the same.

They’re completely different people, that’s for sure, but that’s proving itself to be a good thing. The more time he and Heinz spend together, the more he realizes that their relationship probably wouldn’t have been viable when they were younger.

But now that they’ve come back together, Perry’s glad that they got their feelings sorted out, and in the good way. The way that has a happy ending.

In their line of work, happy endings can be few and far between, so Perry is glad that he gets this. A wonderful relationship with a wonderful person.

As they’re flying back to headquarters in Perry’s hover car (boy, technology sure has come a long way), Perry reaches down and takes Heinz’s hand. Without even looking over, Perry can tell that Heinz is smiling, and almost reflexively, he smiles too.

The evil scientists of the Tri-State Area better watch out, because Agent P and Agent O are back together.

This time, for _keeps_.

**Author's Note:**

> And they lived HAPPILY EVER AFTER because THEY DESERVE IT. 
> 
> Comments and kudos always appreciated!


End file.
